honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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