had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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