marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
