Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
