Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
