I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
