so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
