Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
