in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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