OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
