the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
