But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
