i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
