she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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