I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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