This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
