I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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