some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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