I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
