4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
