He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
