Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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