Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
