Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
