Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Found the puke drawer
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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