you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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