Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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