why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
