Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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