You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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