my mouth tastes like poor choices
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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