oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
