better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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