so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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