Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
