Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
