Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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