Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
