Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
