Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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