no, he came in my armpit
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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