He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were destined to go to rehab together
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize