I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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