You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize