And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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