just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize