How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
