What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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