i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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