Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
