Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I skipped work to stalk him.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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