I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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