Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
