fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
