How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
