I'm passing your future prison.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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