I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
